Wednesday, July 2, 2014

How to Win the #HIT100 and Become an #HITSM Superstar in Your Own Mind


Feeling down? Need an ego boost? Want to win the admiration and adulation of complete strangers? Then follow these tips to rise in the ranks of the #HIT100. If you follow each of these tips, I guarantee* you will make one of the top 99 positions in the #HIT100 list.

Note: If you really want to just participate in the #HIT100 event on a down-to-earth basis, here are 10 Simple Suggestions to Keep the #HIT100 Event Real


1. Vote early and vote often. If you vote enough times one or two of those duplicate votes may sneak past @TheEHRGuy when he counts them. I grew up in Chicago. It works there and it’ll work here.

2. If you have multiple Twitter accounts, vote with each one of them.

3. Nominate every person in last year’s list. Some will feel obligated to return the favor.

4. Create a Twitter account for your long deceased great, great grandmother and every other deceased relative you can think of. They would have voted for you anyway if they were alive, right?

Update: Tip #4 won't work due to new rule that accounts must exist for at least 6 months.


5. Vote for yourself. It’s totally “legal” and demonstrates a healthy level of pride.

6. Pressure your workmates, family and friends to vote for you. Free food and booze works for those recalcitrant cronies and reluctant relatives.

7. Dig up some dirt on people and threaten to expose them if they don’t vote for you. Send your friends @Guido and @Annunzio over to encourage them to nominate you if they balk.

8. Ask @katyperry, @justinbieber, @barackobama, @taylorswift, @ladygaga and @britneyspears to tell their followers to vote for you. You never know… Here’s the top 100 Twitter accounts with the most followers.

9. Retweet every tweet that mentions you.

10. Publicly thank every person who votes for you in the most ostentatious fashion possible and then retweet that tweet. The more often you get your name out there, the greater the chance that tweet will be double counted by @TheEHRGuy.

11. Hijack the #HIT100 Hashtag. Add it to every tweet you make. Include it in your email signature. Tattoo it on your forehead along with the name of your Twitter account.


12. Get extra exposure by adding #WorldCup to your plea for votes. This works well when bundled with Tip #13 and/or Tip #14.

13. Create an automated means to make it easy for others to tweet their nomination of you. 


14. Trick people into voting for you. Tweet the following: "Click here for cute cat pictures" and include a link to a tweet nominating yourself. 

15. Employ a gang of low-paid ‘click farm’ workers in Bangladesh to vote for you. limited to a full refund of the price paid for this how-to guide.

16. Pretend you have a terminal illness and tell everyone your last wish is to make the #HIT100 list.

So there you have it.  Now get out there and start campaigning. You're an #HITSM superstar and you know it. Now you just have to convince enough others.

*Guarantee limited to a full refund of the price paid for this how-to guide. 

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